In an Ask Amy column in the Boston Globe this weekend, a woman unraveled a rather extraordinary story about her daughter and her real father.
Her story begins in the 1970s when she gave birth to her daughter at only 16 years old. She explains that all these years, she thought she knew who her child’s father was: a man who was not involved in her life and had no intention to be. Later on, she got married and her husband adopted her daughter. She clarifies that her daughter knows everything.
However, just recently, a DNA test proved the story, as she knew it, to be wrong. Through the DNA paternity test, the identity of her daughter’s real biological father was revealed, and it was not the man she had suspected. Suffice to say, this news shocked her but confessed everything to her daughter anyway.
Since her daughter’s real father had passed away 10 years ago, the woman wrote to Amy Dickinson, who runs the Ask Amy column, to ask what she should do and say to the misidentified father, whom she has not talked to in 40 years.
Dickinson gives a solid response, beginning with an affirmation that the woman, as well as her husband, did the right thing by being completely honest with their daughter regarding her DNA parentage.
She then recommends seeking a professional counselor to help her and her family navigate through this situation as it will definitely have huge consequences not only for her and her daughter but also for her husband. Dickinson encourages the sender to continue being truthful and transparent all throughout the process.
With regard to the man mistakenly thought to be her daughter’s father, Dickinson says that even though he was never involved in their lives, he should be contacted nevertheless as he may be bearing his own complicated feelings of guilt and remorse.
Finally, Dickinson says that the sender’s daughter might appreciate getting in contact with some of her biological relatives for support.
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